• Illustration of a femme person with light brown skin and long purple hair, a masculine person with dark brown skin and short curly brown hair, and a nonbinary person with light skin and short blonde hair. They are holding one hand close to their face, with a look of questioning or confusion. Question mark symbols are floating around them. The background is a white and purple gradient. The Trans Lifeline logo in white appears in the upper right corner. To the left is text in purple that says, "Am I trans even if I used to be okay with my birth gender?"

Am I trans even if I used to be okay with my birth gender?

Am I trans even if I used to be okay with my birth gender? “I didn't always feel transmasc. When I was younger I was a very feminine girl. It wasn't until I got older that I started questioning gender roles and then my gender identity later on. The trans narrative I always hear is always along the lines of “I always knew I was actually a boy/girl”. My experience feels more fluid. I used to feel like a girl, but now I feel more comfortable calling myself non-binary transmasc. But I don’t feel trans enough. I feel like a fraud and an attention seeker because I don’t have the same experience as other people. Can I still be trans even if this is my experience?” Like most other trans folks, you may not feel reassured or seen in the popular depictions of transness, but this doesn't mean you're not trans. Trans people aren't a monolith—our community is diverse, and so are our experiences. But due to trans erasure, that diversity is usually underrepresented. And without access to peer support and representation, it's hard to find trans role models, mentors, and friends who could help us expand our understanding of transness. Because of this, trans folks have often clasped on to the few examples of representation we could find, even if those narratives were inadequate in describing our personal experiences. For a while, the ...

By |2023-02-03T10:47:24-08:00February 3rd, 2023|User Questions|Comments Off on Am I trans even if I used to be okay with my birth gender?
  • Illustration of a smiling woman with long black hair and light brown skin. She is wearing a pink outfit and shoes. She appears to be floating in a blue sky with white clouds.

Is it weird to be trans and feel indifferent about my genitals?

Is it normal and valid, as a trans woman, to feel indifferent to my genitals as they are? Thanks so much to the brave person who wrote in to ask the Trans Lifeline team this question. Our answer is: Absolutely! It is normal to feel indifference about your genitals as they are. It doesn’t make you less trans or less of a woman. All people, both cis and trans, have complicated feelings about their bodies—and those feelings usually evolve over our lives. Even amongst trans folks, there is no universal opinion or experience on how we feel about our bodies or if we choose to undergo medical transition.I can tell you from direct experience as a trans woman that it’s very typical to have these feelings, and they not only differ from person to person but can also change drastically within our lifetimes. My journey to self-exploration began when I transitioned as a teenager to later de-transitioning…only to eventually come out as nonbinary and restart my transition as a trans woman. Despite these shifts in how I identified, I never experienced bottom dysphoria—it just wasn’t an important part of my experience.The idea that trans women must have strong feelings about their genitals is based on transmisogyny, which is the combination of misogyny and transphobia that trans women face. Because of misogyny, women are often reduced to their genitals. Similarly, under transphobia, cis folks tend to ...

By |2022-12-23T12:10:52-08:00November 4th, 2022|Personal Stories, User Questions|Comments Off on Is it weird to be trans and feel indifferent about my genitals?
  • What Does Non-binary Mean?

What Does “Non-binary” Mean?

What Does "Non-binary" Mean? Although “non-binary” (sometimes shortened to NB or phoneticized as “enby”) is becoming a more commonly used term in the trans community, for a lot of folks it’s still an unfamiliar concept. In order to understand what non-binary means, it is important to know what “binary,” or the gender binary, means. The gender binary is the idea or belief that there are only two sexes, female and male, that directly align with two genders, woman and man. Many in our community understand this belief to be a product of colonization and connected to the transphobic belief that gender is a fixed characteristic that must be based on a certain set of biological traits like genitalia and genes.  Although most people accept and identify with the genders they were assigned at birth, many people do not—the former are cisgender people and the latter are transgender people. Similarly, it’s common for trans folks to identify with a binary gender (trans men and trans women)—but for those of us who don’t see ourselves in this gender binary, we may identify with the term “non-binary”. In other words, a non-binary person is someone who does not identify exclusively or fully as a man or a woman. “Non-binary” is an umbrella term for a variety of different gender identities. Some non-binary folks may identify as both a man and a woman, while others may fall outside ...

By |2022-12-23T12:17:52-08:00July 13th, 2022|Health & Wellness, User Questions|Comments Off on What Does “Non-binary” Mean?

Am I still non-binary if I don’t want to change how I appear?

Am I still non-binary if I don’t want to change how I appear? How do I know if I'm non-binary? Is it ok to be non-binary while not dysphoric about my current appearance and male presentation? I feel like I should be more androgynous, but that's not how my body is. Your gender doesn’t need to affect your personal appearance or how you feel about your body. Although some non-binary (also called nb or enby) folks choose to dress and/or physically transition to have a more androgynous appearance, that’s not something you HAVE to do. That’s because there’s no single correct way to express any gender identity. For some folks, being non-binary is not something they express through their appearance or behavior—rather, it's a deeply personal and self-reflective experience. So then how do you know you're non-binary? Well, there's no easy answer. It’s important to note that “non-binary” is an umbrella term that refers to A LOT of very different gender identities. But generally speaking, nb folks don't feel like their genders can be easily described as that of a man or a woman—in fact, some nb folks don’t identify with any gender at all. If you feel the same way then it's worth learning about the different non-binary identities out there. And consider talking with other non-binary folks about their gender journeys—it can be helpful to hear the different ways folks realized they ...

By |2023-01-10T15:51:45-08:00May 26th, 2022|User Questions|Comments Off on Am I still non-binary if I don’t want to change how I appear?